What do you do when someone apparently is still mad at you? When it comes to conflict with other people I always say that I only get bothered if the other person is someone I care about. And it's true. We dont want to lose the friendship or the special relationship you have with the person. It hurts me to know that I've hurt him or her. It doesnt matter whose fault it was. Once you have that exchange of hurtful words more likely than not, the relationship breaks apart. And when it's broken Lord only knows when it's gonna mend.

Trying not to end up in breaking up, I always try my best not to say anything and be as understanding as I can. Even if I'm no longer happy. It helps that I'm not the confronational type. But the problem is the pain and anger I feel is just brewing up and boiling up inside me until I cant hold it no more. Then the ugly part happens. With angry tears and cold hands I say the things the person never wants to hear from me. It's too late. It's out. No taking it back. Then I feel sorry and walk out from his sight. I keep my silence for a very long time.

Thinking back what happened I rationalize...it wasnt my fault. That was just my reaction to what he did. In fact a delayed reaction because I waited for a positive change. Like I said it doesnt matter whose fault it was because the person thinks he didnt do anything wrong! That it was the other way around. It's really funny sometimes how all of a sudden you find yourself saying "it was so bad of me to do that." Then you start to feel sorry and guilty.

I believe time heals all wounds. Sometimes it's best to let the smoke clear a little bit. Then try to feel if it's the right time to face the person again so you can say sorry. I tried this not so long ago becausse it's been 2 years. And I've missed that person. Not talking to her like we used to was really odd and painful. She hurt me and I hurt her too. It's not important anymore who hurt who first.

I sent some feelers that I'm already okay and I want to mend things between us. But she's not ready. I need to give her more time.  And I'm praying about it. I just hope she hasnt decided not to make me part of her life anymore.

It seems like this blog has been so neglected by me because my last post was on new year's eve. This is my second blog and it's quite hard maintaining two. Although I like this one better for being unalduterated with paid posts. Well not yet. I'm thinking if I really should turn this into another paid blog like my other blog. When google shot the page ranks of webbloggers down to zero I kinda got disappointed and discouraged. I mean what's the point if I cant make as much money anymore? Not that I made so much. I was a novice in paid blogging when google did that.

I wish I can make ways to remedy the situation of my other blog. I've been reading a lot of how to's. How to increase your traffic. How to submit your site to directories. How to make better back links. But my mind can only understand so much of all those technical stuff. Well, I think I can do it but it's just so time consuming. It's ok if I dont have other things to do. My world doesnt exactly revolve around this computer.  But I enjoy blogging. I like writing out my thoughts and feelings even if I know there's hardly anyone who's interested to know. So pretty much this blog is staying around for quite awhile.